I prefer my light from lamps, ruining my eyes but warming my home. Truly the easiest bulbs to garner results. I wonder if I sit here long enough will I flower.
i think that the best lines in this poem are "i prefer my light from my / lamps" and "i wonder if i sit here long enough / will i flower."
the first one because it's bizarre. what is your light. if it's not the sun and it's not the lamps, then what is this light? it's excellent. it hooks and it does sooo much without telling. implies something that--to the narrator--is obvious, but--to the reader--is not. what does that mean about this narrator?
i like the last line because it keeps up the first line, puts an interesting twist on it. my only complaint is that i think that it might be too telling. i would like to see you find a way to show that.
3 comments:
like. want to comment tomorrow. thanks for the posts sammm
i think that the best lines in this poem are "i prefer my light from my / lamps" and "i wonder if i sit here long enough / will i flower."
the first one because it's bizarre. what is your light. if it's not the sun and it's not the lamps, then what is this light? it's excellent. it hooks and it does sooo much without telling. implies something that--to the narrator--is obvious, but--to the reader--is not. what does that mean about this narrator?
i like the last line because it keeps up the first line, puts an interesting twist on it. my only complaint is that i think that it might be too telling. i would like to see you find a way to show that.
Right then. I'll get to tweaking.
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