bottled babes, they fable there, and a play, while a
midnight xylophoned to summer-sets, rainbows to the
dew, blooming through three speckles of a reeded dawn.
shoed, in the lawn, we grazed the slept with your dreamies,
surfing on the sounds of your freckle, mouthed in the dreary
of our sight. this was the hour of the tantrumed: for it boiled
on the soil of your patterned slack, suckles creviced our
spilt; and we followed rivers to your chest, all no-more-noised
and sick as the rivered morning bloomed to you a tune.
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1 comment:
first two stanzas, i love. the third one kind of seems like it was written later, or you were in a different mood, or you were trying to end it or something...and i don't like that you use "bloomed" again in the last line, because I liked it so much in the first stanza. the images are darker, which is fine, but they're dark in a way that doesn't mesh with the first two. i don't think it's the whole stanza as much as just the first line of stanza 3 up until the semicolon. i don't know. who knows. but yeah, first two stanzas. nice.
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